Note of Thanks

I am feeling so many things right now. Many things all at once… pure joy, fear, sad, overwhelmed, denial, hopeful, excited, and distraught.  Preparing to leave is in a word, overwhelming.  First is our stuff.  We have to condense our stuff to 5 suitcases.  Which means that we are selling and giving away 3 years of our lives piece by piece. There is no room for sentimental attachment because there is literally no room. 

Other than the stuff, the people must be gone through.  Goodbyes… Oh the goodbyes. 

It is difficult to explain the bond that has been created with the people that we live and work with here.  The closest thing I can compare it to is college.  We have survived China with these beautiful individuals, traveled to foreign lands, shared weekly dinners, professional workshops, struggled through culture shock, survived several bouts of food poisoning, taught together, laughed together and in a few cases, cried.  We have far more commonalities with these individuals than differences.  They come from the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and other countries.  We share a spirit for community and a love of travel.  Our backgrounds couldn’t be more different but somehow we have bonded over our careers in teaching and being in the same place at the same time.  I will deeply miss many of these people but hold out hope for seeing them again soon, perhaps in a new country. 

I fully realize that being overseas meant that we had to sacrifice relationships at home.  Missing my niece Isabel’s first birthday party is a memory that stings.  Knowing that our physical presence would be missed, Matt and I did the best we could to keep in touch.  We spent nearly every Saturday and often Sunday mornings Facetiming family.  Unlike many of our international friends we also journeyed home for every Christmas and as many weeks in the summer as possible.  We averaged 10 weeks in the states a year and that is pretty damned good if you ask me. 

When we arrived we had a combined student loan debt of nearly $100,000.  We were both a bit overwhelmed by this number. We decided to focus hard on chipping away at it, and as of January this year the remaining balance was $0.  What a huge weight lifted!  If we would have not come overseas we would barely have dented this amount. 

The travel opportunities that we have been blessed to experience have been life changing.  We were able to experience so many new cultures we went places that I wouldn’t have been able to find on a map before coming here. 

So what I am trying to get at is that I am so thankful.  I am overflowing with thankfulness. This experience has been wonderful, heartbreaking, joyous, exciting, difficult, brilliant, and eye opening.  I have learned more about myself, my marriage, my country, my values, and my world than I ever thought possible.  I am truly blessed by this experience and I am bubbling over with gratitude.  I am changed on the most fundamental level and I am so so thankful.

China, you know me so well...

Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars Concert!

I have made it to a few concerts since we have been here and they have all been fun.  Matt not being a fanatic of music in general, happily has a guys night while I go out with the ladies.  This time one of Matt’s student’s parents offered us floor tickets to Bruno Mars.  The texting conversation went something like this;

Matt:  They offered us tickets.  I suppose you want to go?

Bri:  Hell YES!

Matt:  What am I supposed to do?

Bri:  Shake your hips, fist pump, sing along….?

Matt:  We will go out to dinner first.

We ended up having a fantastic time.  We were 13 rows back out of an entire stadium. 

Matt's Granny passed away a couple months ago and I have written and rewritten a blog tribute for her.  Nothing seems to come close to doing justice to the lady that she was and the impact that she had on Matt and I.  With that in mind here goes...

 One of the worst things about living overseas is thinking about what we would do if we lost someone close to us at home.  Unfortunately we had to figure that out a few months ago.  Matt’s dear Granny died.  We got the call in the middle of the night and grief and the distance blanketed us for several days.  Matt decided not to go home as Granny had so keenly insisted on him not doing so if something happened to her or Grandpa Don. 

Granny (Frances Snodgrass) was a very special sort of lady.  When Matt was introducing me for the first time to his family he made it clear to me that it was Granny that could make or break the deal.  If she said that she didn’t like me, the gig was up.  Luckily she loved me and so Matt and I were able to continue our romance. 

Granny worked as a lobbyist for the Kansas Legislature until she retired. This resulted in her always being informed in political current events and she expected those around her to be educated on things that matter as well.  She would ask questions like ‘what are your thoughts on the new supreme court justice’ and I was always thanking my lucky stars that my mom is a news junkie and I was able to give a semi-educated response.

The way Granny listened to answers and opinions was beyond respectable.  She cared what we thought and why.  She would take quick notes as we spoke to ask further questions.  Considering the evidence and opinions of those that mattered to her she would then form her own opinion and she certainly wasn’t afraid to share it.   Her politics always seemed to lean left of center, which aligned nicely with mine.  Granny’s progressive view on the world was beyond her generation and it warmed my heart.  When she wanted to make a point extra clear to ensure I was listening carefully, she would gently take my hand in hers and look me in the eye as she told me where a certain Politian could shove it.  She was a walking contradiction of sweet and sass. 

She made a mean friend chicken dinner.  Although she couldn’t make it up and down the stairs to their basement anymore, she kept a sharp mental inventory of her pantry that Grandpa Don was charged with running.  She and I both loved Downton Abbey and The Good Wife.  She loved hearing about our adventures from abroad. 

Granny was a type of tough-old-bird that only seems common with women of her generation.  She lost a son too soon and that grief made her love those around her deeper.   Matt was exceptionally close to Granny.  I am forever thankful for her for the influence that she had on Matt.  There are so many parts of her that I see in Matt daily.  Their commonalities are uncanny; Their sharp intelligence, their constant search for truth, their love of cooking for others, their careful family prioritization, their desire to root for the underdog, their thoughtfulness, their true love of their spouses, and their desire to learn. 

Granny will be missed so dearly and as Matt put it; It just seems like the 30 years he had with her weren’t quite enough.  And as Winnie the Pooh says ‘How lucky am I to have had something that makes saying goodbye so hard’ 

We have been so busy lately with all of the end of the year business.  This time of year in Shanghai is absolutely beautiful.  It is this time of year that I fall back in love with this city.  If we had to decide whether we are coming back again for another year in May I don't think anyone would leave. My whole goal in these remaining weeks is to live it up!  Go to our favorite restaurants one final time, spend time with our great friends, get last minute China shopping in, and enjoy the lifestyle that we have come to enjoy :)

We are moving home to Colorado!  It is bittersweet to be moving back and we feel that it is the right thing for us right now.  We are leaving the possibility to move abroad again open for the next year or two years or five or 25…. Living abroad has been an INCREDIBLE time in our lives and one that has shaped who we are today for the better.  Most of our friends here are off to new countries next year, which admittedly has me a bit jealous.  I am trying to focus on the happiness that lies in Colorado so here are my top 10 things that I am looking forward to;

10.  Watching the evening news.

9.  Easy communication at all venues.

8.  Matt having a grill again.

7.  Cheap wine

6.  Grandparents cousins and friends getting to watch Benton grow.

5.  Shopping at Target.

4.  Unpacking our wedding presents.

3.  Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Easter, and Memorial Day food.

2.  Having friends and family visit our new home.

1. Not having to say goodbye in August.

Going Back to Work

 I go back to work after my maternity leave on February 12^th.  I have had 16 total weeks including Christmas break and Chinese New Year.  It has been a real blessing to have this much time at home.  It was funny when talking to international teachers about maternity leave because I always knew if I was talking to an American or a Canadian.  When talking to an American and I said 16 weeks they said things like ‘that is awesome!’ When talking to a Canadian they said ‘that’s it?  That is too bad.’ It is all about perspective.  While I am not exactly thrilled about going back I am looking forward to adult interaction.  I couldn’t feel better about leaving him with Xiao Ma.  She will bring him to me for a feeding and I will be able to come home for lunch for another one.  I can be home for the day at 3:30.  The transition could be a lot worse. 

Next Year

10 Facts about what we are doing next year (school year)

10.  We don’t know what we are doing yet.

9.  We have profiles on International School Services to possibly go over seas again.

8.  We are looking at Central America and/or the Caribbean.

7.  We are not going to a job fair.

6.  We are willing to move back to the states.

5.  We would be willing to go to either Colorado or Kansas

4.  The hiring season for overseas jobs is right now.

3.  The hiring season for home begins in late February or March.

2.  We know that we will get jobs somewhere between Matt’s science background and my special education backgroun.

1.  We know that we will end up exactly where we are supposed to be. 

Xin Nian Kuai Le!

The lunar new year is arriving and with it Bri and I must prepare today for a bit of isolation.  Most stores will close until Monday when things will slowly start to reopen.  The city won't really be back to life for about a week to ten days.  Our first holiday in Shanghai was the Autumn Festival in 2011.  That is a shorter holiday with less theatrics.  I'm split today between excitement to see the fireworks tonight and anxiety of how Benton will handle them.  We've heard that tonight and Monday night will be the big nights and the sound will resemble artillery fire lasting hours.  Our local friend told me, "Your son was born in China, he is Chinese and will not mind the noises".

At home we think things close down for Thanksgiving and Christmas but it really doesn't compare to Shanghai where there are so many migrant workers.  Many business won't have even have most of their employees.  It will be quite eery the next few days, streets normally packed with traffic will have a lone wandering car, finding a cab will be tough and before we go anywhere we'll have to check to be sure that business is open (most likely, we won't go anywhere :). 

I really like the fact that the city shuts down for so long and people go home.  I'm sure it costs the Chinese economy billions yet it is embraced by the society and their culture.  The only option of things to do is spend time with family and friends.  Sometimes the distractions of other things just get in the way and the limited number of options help people get a better perspective of what is important.  I wish we had something similar in the US. Why break for day? Break for a week!

In case you're interested, Xiao ma heads to Nanjing tonight to see her sisters.  They're only an hour away and she and her family already have tickets.

This is an interesting article discussing the migration home for so many workers.  There is photo journal of one Beijing migrant workers trek home and a video with a really neat graphic of the train system in China.  Hope you enjoy.  Xin nian kuai le! 

http://edition.cnn.com/2014/01/29/world/asia/china-new-year-migration-mckenzie/index.html?hpt=hp_c1

Traveling Home with Benton

We came home for Christmas this year and it was a fantastic trip.  It was great to introduce Benton to so many people that love us and now him.  Leaving for the trip did not go exactly as planned.  The day we were scheduled to leave Matt had school.  He was at work and I was working on packing at home.  I had nearly everything laid out to pack but was waiting on Matt’s shoe decision before I began putting stuff into bags. The driver was going to pick us up at 4:00pm which would put us at the airport 3 hours early because we wanted to make sure we got the bulkhead seat that had a bassinet and we wanted to make sure we had plenty of time for error having not traveled with a baby before.   

Matt text me around 10 and said that our flight was delayed 2 hours which meant that we would miss our connecting flight in LA and we would have to stay the night there.  I was so sad.  This meant that we would miss nearly a whole day at home.  Matt got on the phone with United and after getting cut off their Skype connection more than once he THOUGHT we could get on a 1:30 flight.  This was great news…. Only it was now 11:45 and we live an hour from the airport. 

Now picture the scene from Home Alone when they are late for the airport.  That was us.  Run run Rudolf should be playing in your head right now.

We packed stuff in 15 minutes.  After about 10 minutes of us running around like crazy people Xiao Ma said “you leave now?  You leave 4:00?”   When we said that we leave now she laughed at us and helped us get our stuff.  She had to come with us to the airports so she could bring the carseat back to the apartment.

 We weren’t able to get the driver on such short notice so we had to get a cab.  We had 2 large checked bags, 3 maximum sized carry-on bags, 2 personal bags, a stroller, a baby, an Ayi, two adults, and a partridge in a pear tree.  Matt didn’t think it would all fit and I kept insisting.  Finally, Xiao Ma and I rode the hour to the airport with the stroller on our laps.  Who needed to see out anyway? 

When we arrived at the airport Matt ran in to try and get our seats.  The cab driver pulled up to the curb in the nearest lane, which was three lanes away.  The inner two lanes cleared while we were getting organized so me and my 55 year old Ayi were dragging 50lb. bags from the middle of the street to the curb, meanwhile Xiao Ma is yelling. “get the baby inside, it is too cold” (it is 48 degrees) This all wouldn’t be such a problem with roller bags but Matt insists on using duffle bags for maximum packability.  ‘It won’t be a problem Bri, I will carry them’ he says.  I digress. Matt reappears just in time to push the airport cart into the airport. I had just enough time to strap Benton in his Ergo baby carrier.  “I think we are going to make it” Matt says.  We are rushed to the front of the line and our bags are checked.  We then have to go through immigration and security and our flight was boarding.  Matt, Xiao Ma and I are running through the airport.  We paused outside of customs to tell Xiao Ma she couldn’t come with us any farther.  She kissed Benton’s head and says “I love you baby boy”.  I think she wasn’t sure if we would survive the trip. 

We made it on the plane but we didn’t have seats together.  Benton was starting to share his general displeasure of the situation loudly as I found my seat.  When I wiggled my way to the window seat I unstrapped the carrier and what I found was no surprise.  My entire midsection and Benton’s whole lower half were covered in poop.  Matt had the diaper bag.  We resolved that situation while I profusely apologized to the man sitting next to me. 

Matt lost his ticket stub and was sure I had it.  While I had a naked baby on my lap the flight attendant was on the intercom saying ‘there is a red bag and brown North Face jacket placed in an incorrect seat, please come collect your items or they will be removed from the aircraft’  Those are Matt’s things I think.  Matt is trying to make his way against all of the passengers trying to find their seats.  He is telling me to look for his ticket because he doesn’t know where to sit.  The man next to me offers help and he digs through my purse to find Matt’s ticket stub.  No luck.  Eventually they figure out where he should be.  (Matt finds his ticket in his pocket later)

Matt switches seats so we are able to sit next to each other for most of the flight. 

Benton did amazing.  It was as if he understood that it was just temporary.   I used my nursing pillow on my lap to hold him.  He slept fairly well.  When we arrived in LA Matt tried to get coffee for both of us and I was going to hang out by the gate.  Benton woke up from his nap and was hungry NOW.  I was struggling to get the nursing cover from the bag below the stroller with a screaming baby.  I finally got it out and was nursing when Matt came back with his pants speckled in coffee. He saw the stressed look on my face and we both decided not to leave each other again while traveling.  He had dropped his coffee all over himself and it was time to board.  I interrupted nursing to get in line and when we got to the front there was a problem.  Matt was shuffled between two counters trying to get the ticket situation figured out. Finally, 15 minutes later I was burping Benton and Matt noticed white stuff on the carpet, then there was more.  His eyes made their way up and I had spit up all down my back.  Matt later said that he couldn’t believe that we were ‘those parents’ that just can’t get themselves together.  We finally made it to Denver where we were greeted by my Dad and Jackie.  We made it to Denver 6 hours earlier than our scheduled arrival.  It was worth the craziness for an extra half-day at home. 

Our trip back was much less eventful with the exception of a man’s pills landing on Benton from the overhead compartment resulting in a 30 minute melt down.  I hope the flight this summer is uneventful J

Being a mom in China

HELLO everyone!  It has been a long time since we were putting things on here so thanks for your patience.  We have been a tad distracted with our new little bundle of joy, Benton who made his arrival on October 19^th (my due date) after 53 hours of labor… I don’t want to talk about it. 

Parenthood has been our biggest adventure to date and I am beginning to believe again that I will get a good night’s sleep one day!  I am not, however understanding how anyone in the whole world has a sibling. 

Doing this whole thing in China has made some things much easier and also made some things harder.  For instance, because we are able to have full time help that does the laundry, cooks, cleans and snuggles the babe whenever needed that pretty much makes a whole lot of things easier. One of the biggest things I think is harder is venturing out.  The smog is one problem, I may have a plan for a walk get completely messed up because I don’t want my baby breathing poison.  When we have good days though, I find I am scared to go out alone.  We have a carseat we can hook to the stroller.  But when I catch the cab and take the carseat off the stroller what do I do with the baby while I put the stroller in the trunk?  Seriously someone give me an answer.