Potty Training

As parents to be Bri and I are going to make a lot of parenting decisions.  I don't see this decision being one of them.

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Chinese Fireworks

One of the few facts about China I remember growing up was it was the civilization that discovered gun powder.  Many of the fireworks we buy in the US are made in China still today.

Fireworks are still very popular here today.  I've heard fireworks in rural towns and in Shanghai.  A few weeks back Bri and I were sitting in our living room on a Saturday morning discussing our weekend plans.  It was nice outside so we had the windows open.  Suddenly I heard a bang like our refrigerator had fallen over in the kitchen. I jumped and wandered into the kitchen looking for signs of something that had fallen.  Bri was laughing because she knew...someone was shooting fireworks off.  Soon another loud bang followed and I figured out that someone was launching loud firecrackers and they were exploding only about 40 yards away and about the same height of our 10th floor apartment.

So why the firecrackers any time and any day?  They're used to scare off bad spirits on birthdays, weddings or when moving into a new apartment.  I had a lesson interrupted in class a couple weeks ago  when it sounded like an assault team was entering the school gates facing heavy resistance.  My students were shocked and joined me in investigating the situation.  Luckily I have a nice amount of windows in my class and we were able to see the situation clearly. Someone was moving in to an apartment but before they would start unloading the furniture they had to scare away all of the bad spirits.  So whenever you buy a new car or house remember to make a ruckus before moving in to rid the space of whatever unwanted spirits may be lingering.

Mid-Autumn Festival

This past week we did not have school on Thursday for the Mid- Autumn Festival which is regarded as the second most important festival in China after the Chinese New Year. It is celebrated on the 15th day of the eighth month according to Chinese Lunar calendar, which is the exact midst of autumn. The festival is an evening celebration when families gather together to light lanterns, eat moon cakes and appreciate the round moon. At night, the moon appears to be at its roundest and brightest, an auspicious symbol of abundance, harmony and luck. The full moon is also a symbol for family reunion, which is why that day is also known as the Festival of Reunion. Those who cannot return home watch the bright moon and feel deep longing for their loved ones.

Anyway, the moon was beautiful and Thursday was great. Friday teachers and students felt odd because the day felt like a Monday and a Friday!  Holidays here are much like home as far as the quietness of the city.  Many shops close and there are less cars on the street.  As with many holidays here there are peculiar ways of awarding vacation days by the government.  For this festival most workers had Thursday, Friday and Saturday off but were back to work on Sunday.  As I went for a run before 7am this morning I was shocked to see kids in uniforms going to school and the traffic packed like a weekday.  Shocked until I remembered what a day off must cost this economy from the governments perspective.  So there is a chinese vacation for the second biggest holiday, three days off and then back to work for 6 in a row!

To squat or to sit? This is the question.

Across Asia we often encounter these signs;

     Westerners think they are funny and don't understand why they are nessesary.  Well my friends, I have a story for you.

     When we were in Thailand we went on a day trip to some nearby islands.  It was beautiful, breathtaking and relaxing.  Then we went to lunch.  There were many tour groups stopped at this particular resort for lunch.  Because it was Chinese National Holiday there were many Chinese people visiting Thailand.   At this particular spot multiple tour groups were stopping for lunch so we encountered large herds of Chinese tourists.

     Now, living in China I realize that I have made a choice to live here and for the most part try to accept their culture and know that I am the outsider.  I get frustrated and realize that I am making generalizations when culture shock is at it worst but when I leave my apartment in China I expect to be smacked in the face with Chinese culture.  I wasn't expecting this in Thailand.  I mean, I left China for a break from China.

     So anyway, back to my story.  I went to wait in line for the bathroom and right outside of the bathroom, in the dining room, a woman had propped her 6-8 year old daughter over the trashcan to use as a toilet.  I am not sure if you know this but 6-8 year old girls don't have the best of aim in ideal situations so you can imagine the mess that was made IN THE DINING ROOM.

    Okay, okay, that is one Chinese person of Billions I get it....deep breathe...patience....count to ten....
So I continue waiting in line for the bathroom and it is taking a really long time.  All of the women before me are Chinese.  I can't figure out what they must be doing in the bathroom that is taking so long.  Some of the women are wearing one-piece swimming suits but still, that cannot explain why everyone is in there for 5+ minutes.     I am hungry and I have to pee, my patience is wearing thin.

     My turn finally comes I turn into the stall and there are two sand footprints on top of the toilet seat.  A perfectly good toilet seat has now been polluted by an unknown number of feet.  I feel rage enter my body and I say out loud "What?" Two things are going through my head at this point.

1.  If you find the need to crawl onto a toilet because you think it is just too dirty to sit on, then please for the love, clean the sand off for the next person.

2.  Realize that this toilet is not built into the ground for a reason. It has a seat, sit on it...or even squat over the seat, but don't stand on the seat!

     By the time I make it back to Sara, Kristina and Matt I am fully enraged.  At first I cannot explain my reaction but after talking it through with me impromptu counselors, I realized that I had left my patience for China in China and that I was not prepared to have to deal with some of the 'annoyances' in Thailand because I was in fact, IN THAILAND. 

This time culture shock took me by surprise. 

This is new

I love teaching, but I also love a day off.  Sometimes in Colorado we'd pull for a snowstorm along with kids.  Bri and I never thought we'd be hoping for a typhoon though.  Its funny how much our snow dance looks like our typhoon dance.

Matt

Pajama Day Part Two

I went to the wet market last night for some fruit and vegetables.  Bri decided to tag along and stick with the cultural tradition of showing off your pajamas!  There were two foreign guys down there that didn't know the culture.  They were totally judging her, but I loved it.  Be sure to notice Bri and the lady I buy garlic, mushrooms and peppers from are both in animal print!

Matt

Pajama Day

     Since arriving in Shanghai we've been entertained by the masses of locals walking the streets in their pajamas each morning and night.  If you have read the blog from the beginning you surely remember the picture of Bri eating ice cream/a man lunging in his boxer shorts.

    In August and September we thought this was explained by the heat of the day and people just trying to be cool.  As the months grew colder the pajamas just became longer and thicker.  Getting breakfast in the wet market you're assured to see some locals in their pajamas regardless of the temperature.  In the cold months with heavy coats on, it may be a little tough to discern, until you look down and see people wearing slippers.

     In our short time over here we've started to just accepts things without question regarding cultural differences.  The pajama show was one of those differences until last week a friend who has lived here longer than us provided an explanation.  When times were harder in the past only a certain class of people in Shanghai (I don't know if this is true throughout China) could afford pajamas.  Therefore, it became a social statement to wear your pajamas out, if you had them.  It was a way of separating the have's from the have nots.  Now, thanks to economic growth jammies are affordable to most Shanghainese, but some habits are hard to break, and therefore I get to see things like this while standing in line for breakfast.
Matt

No Guts No Glory....but....

   This is a follow up to my "No Guts No Glory" blog a few days ago regarding the morning tofu smoothie from the wet market.  I've learned since that drink is called do fu hua which translates as tofu pudding.  I also smelled the bottles they were using this morning when I went to get breakfast and the liquids can be confirmed as chili oil, vinegar and some liquid I can't identify.  Its not soy sauce as I had originally guessed.  Anyway, after the blog posted some people asked about the other food items I'm still leery to try.  That list would have to include chicken/duck heads (fried/boiled, in sauce, all kinds), chicken feet, pork trotters, these piles of mystery meat I can't identify and this special delicacy Bri read about recently.  This one really sounds like something boys would make up and dare someone to eat, not something people enjoy as a delicacy.  To each his own I suppose....
Matt

More Motorbikes

    I hope to never know what real mortar rounds sounds like when they come down first hand but as the Chinese New Year finally ends today there are explosions happening every 5 minutes and from all directions.  It is fitting however that they're coming just as Bri and I finished watching the Super Bowl.  I almost feel like now that this football seasons is gone China is celebrating the new year...the year of the Chiefs.
    One tidbit of information for anyone planning a trip to China.  Don't order french fries from McDonalds when it is being delivered.  I've tried over and over and I regret it every time.   They just can't get them delivered hot and we all know cold fries are horrible.  Bri pointed out that it is nearly unamerican to order McDonalds and not get fries and I have to agree.  That's why I think they should have the delivery man fry them on the spot upon delivery.  It would also spread the smell of fries which would make other tenants of the building hungry for the Golden Arch.  That's probably enough of my good ideas for one day.  I'm posting some more pictures of things you might see on the road in Vietnam because Bri's last post generated considerable interest on the topic.

You can use a cyclo as a cab

Yes, that is a refrigerator on his motorbike

It must be iBike by Apple.

These yellow flowers were for sale EVERYWHERE.  They're good luck for the new year.  He's hoping the lucky flowers help him drive home safely.

This guy is holding what I can only guess is a frame while the guy in front drives.  Don't worry they have helmets on.  We also saw a driver and rider carrying a 10-12 foot pipe.

When your baby just fall asleep, take her for a drive.  Works every time.

There is only four here.  An American we met who has lived in Ho Chi Minh since 1998 told us that he doesn't bat an eye when he sees five but the most he's ever seen was six people on one bike at a time.  He said the last person didn't have a seat they were just piggy backing the person in front of them.

Babies don't need to wear helmets as long as you have a high chair for them to set on

We didn't see any livestock on motorbikes except for on postcards.  There were pictures of a slaughtered cow or live pigs balanced on the back of motorbikes.  I probably don't need to go on, you're surely getting an idea of why the motorbikes in Vietnam left such an impression on us.  Perhaps this fact won't surprise you but Vietnamese hospitals are among the world leaders in very few things.  They do however rank among the top hospitals in the world at treating head trauma....I wonder why.    If you still can't get enough motorbikes check out this blog for another fellow's top ten motorbike pictures.

Matt

The Road to Nha Trang

     The title of this blog sounds like a life changing non-fiction book.  Well, that is only half right; life changing.  Let me start at the beginning.  When we began planning our trip to Vietnam we planned on going to a small beach town partway up the eastern coast called Nha Trang.  I had found reviews of beaches and this was supposed to be the best.  We booked our hotel rooms and a commuter flight from Ho Chi Minh City to Nha Trang.  After everything was purchased we received an email from Vietnam Airlines saying that actually they did not have a flight for us and we were on a waiting list.  Chinese New Year is one of their busiest times of year and while I was not surprised that this happened I was disappointed that they did not mention any of this on their website.  We considered going somewhere else as staying in Ho Chi Minh was not really an option because nearly all of their businesses would be closing for the celebration.  I looked up other beach destinations and could not find accommodations.  We may have been able to get there easily but we would not have a place to stay when we arrived. I looked at the map, Nha Trang is only about 440 km from Ho Chi Minh City.  That would be the same as driving from Stratton to Denver and back. That didn't seem too far to travel so I began searching for other ways to get to Nha Trang.

By train: you cannot book these tickets on the Internet, you have to hire a travel agent to purchase the tickets for you.  Fine.  We try that...and they were sold out.

By bus: the tickets only cost $25 each and buses leave Ho Chi Minh almost hourly for Nha Trang.  After reading some travel blogs they said that this is an excellent way to travel……. if you want to die.  Hundreds of people die every year riding buses in Vietnam.  Last year a bus driver decided to try and beat an oncoming train, he misjudged it. Everyone died.  Hmmmmm, no thanks.

Renting a car: It is not easy for foreigners to rent cars and if this was an option that we were seriously considering we would have had to start the process much earlier.
Hiring a driver: This was the most expensive option but was safer than a bus and the first travel agent told us that it is a 4 hour drive. The second agent clarified that it would be a 10 hour drive. We found these time discrepancies were quite common in Vietnam.  They're similar to the time discrepancies in Shanghai.  Maybe something will be ready in an hour or maybe in about two days....

     We just wanted to get to the beach so we chose to hire a driver.  Our hotel arranged it for us and it was going to cost us $280.  They were going to pick us up at 4:00 AM because we wanted to spend as much as the day as possible in Nha Trang and we figured we could sleep part of the trip.  On our motorbike tour that day our tour guide said that his buddy would take us for $150.  He was sure that he would be there at 4:00 so we switched plans and hired our tour guide’s buddy to take us instead of the other driver.

4:00 AM:  Matt and I are sitting outside of our hotel all packed and ready for our driver to arrive.

4:10 AM:  The concierge calls the driver to check on when he will arrive and the driver says that he will be there in 15 minutes.

4:40 AM:  Still no driver.  He is now not answering his phone.

4:41 AM: Matt calls our tour guide (Matt’s baby kanagaroo) and asks him if he knows why the driver hasn't arrived.  Saul is very upset and does not know why his friend would do this.

4:41 and 30 seconds: I get sad.

4:42 AM: I decide that we should go to the airport and fly stand by to Nha Trang.

4:45 AM Hotel concierge gets a hold of another driver and they will be at the hotel in 15 minutes.  We will pay this driver $305.  That's more than two Greyhound tickets of comparable distance but much more comfortable.  We were just glad to be leaving.  Finding a driver on New Years Eve was a near miracle. It would be the same as finding someone to leave their family on Christmas Eve to drive strangers for the day and then drive back.

    We began our journey and I went to sleep.  Once in a while he would hit the breaks hard and I would momentarily wake up.  Then the honking began, I could not tell through my earplugs if we were the ones being honked at or doing the honking.  I had no idea what to expect when I sat up and I was shocked.  The cows, the chickens, the sheep, the goats, the buses, the shuttles, the semi-trucks, the motorbikes and the van we were riding in all share the same road.  There was no center-line, or outside line for that matter in parts of the road.  Houses, shacks and shops were only a few yards off of the ‘road.’  I figured out what we were honking at...anything that was in our way, regardless of which side of the road it was on at the time.

       When we would go around a slower vehicle whether it be a motorbike, a bus, a semi, or a man walking his cow we would honk.  It was a sign to both the person we were passing and the person coming straight at us whose lane we were now in, that we were in the area. If the honking did not move the oncoming traffic, a quick flashing of headlights was supposed to produce results.  This logic did not make sense to me because both cars were flashing their lights.  Whose job was it to get out of the way?  I don’t know because at that point my eyes were shut tight.

Just a stretch of the road.

     It was insane. Sometimes there were lines on the road.  Sometimes the road became dirt for a few yards.  It was unpredictable.  At one point our side of the road came to an abrupt stop due to construction.  There were no signs or anything... it was like a cartoon where the road just ends.  We had to drive on the other side of the road for a mile.  Luckily this was one of the small parts of the journey that was on four lane highway.  All but about 5-10 miles were two lane highways. 

    You can sum up their roads like this. There are to vehicle lanes.  The outer edge of each vehicle lane is actually the motorbike lane.  The vehicle lane also doubles as the passing lane for motorbikes.  The oncoming traffic lane is the passing lane for vehicles.  The shoulder of the road on each side is actually a sidewalk, made of dirt, and there will be an occasional motorbike on the sidewalk because he's going against the flow of traffic but doesn't want to cross to the correct side of the road.  Then outside the shoulder we're used to these things called ditches, that's where they put buildings. 

    I posted a mild video of the drive here. 

    Normally on a long road trip I like to read or listen to a podcast.  On this trip my full attention was on the road.  Always wondering when how we'd pass the next bus or whether that cow in the ditch would get spooked an jump into the road.  We saw five or six ambulances on the road during the day. They were probably for motorbikes we were told later, they're not very safe for long travels on the highway the source told us. 

Heading to Grandma's house for the New Year.  Many motorbike drivers wear masks to filter some of the dusty and polluted air they're breathing on the road.

     We stopped twice for bathroom breaks and some Vietnamese coffee and we ended up getting there in just about 7.5 hours.  By 3:00 we were showered, changed and eating on the beach.  More importantly, thanks to hotel concierge by 5pm we'd booked two tickets to fly back to Ho Chi Minh Thursday morning.  The cost for the 50 minute flight for two people... $130 total.  Memories from the "Road to Nha Trang".... priceless.

Saigon Unseen

     As you can imagine, trying to experience as much of a country as possible while also enjoying a vacation can be a difficult thing to balance.  We arrived in Ho Chi Minh City (formally known as Saigon), Vietnam Friday night late and didn't make it to our hotel bed until around 1am.  Our morning began at 8:30 am with a tour that Bri had found online called Saigon Unseen.  Normally when we travel we tend to steer away from tours but we had decided that a tour would be the best way to see as much of the city as possible in a short amount of time.  Of course this wasn't your run of the mill air-conditioned van or a double-decker bus tour.  In a town of 10 million people and 5 million motor bikes how could you pass up the chance for a tour on the back of a motor bike!

Matt on the bike with our lead guide Saul. He spoke more than enough English for our tour purposes.

     The weather was beautiful and sunny.  Bri and I were basking in the warm weather compared to the cloudy, clammy cold we were experiencing in Shanghai.  Bri took this picture at the beginning of the day and then spent the rest of the day trying to find a caption for what I looked like on the bike with Saul.  My favorite two descriptions were that he was a ninja turtle and I was his shell and that I'm a kangaroo and I just let Saul out of my pouch for a bit of sunshine.  Feel free to make your own captions and have a laugh at my expense.

     Besides the allure of the motor bike the second draw of this tour was that they took us to parts of Ho Chi Minh a tourist might not stumble onto in their first couple days.  We drove through the main park which was packed with people preparing for the Lunar New Year celebrations.  Then it was off to a couple of interesting markets packed with Vietnamese shopping for the holiday.  Saul said it was only slightly busier than normal but I couldn't see how the first market could have held anymore people.  The interesting/disturbing thing about both markets but especially the first larger market was that nobody bothered to get off their bike.  You just motored through at a snails pace and pulled off when you needed to buy something.  There was a parking area that was packed with scooters so I assume some customers or stall keeper got off their bike but it sure didn't seem like it when we were driving through the chaos.

Most of the people in the crowded middle of the street are moving along slowly on motor bikes.

     After the market we drove around the alleys and side streets.  Bri and I immediately felt that generally speaking the people of Ho Chi Minh were more friendly than the people of Shanghai.  Next Saul wanted to show some of the developing parts of Ho Chi Minh.  We saw some tall condo/apartment buildings but nothing you wouldn't see in KC or Denver.  Then he took us to a section of town that had been a poor and crumbling part of town.  It had been cleared of tenants and most of the "buildings" had been demolished in order to prepare the land for development.  I was surprised at how optimistically he spoke about what the developers would build and how he wanted me to continue looking at the billboard that had illustrations of what was coming.  On the other hand Bri and I were asking, "What happened to all of the people who lived here?" and "Who is living here now?".  There were make shift homes which were nothing more than campsites all around the area and it didn't look like any development had started at all.  Saul said the money for the development had stalled but it was still coming.  The people camping were homeless and looking for jobs or people working temporary jobs in the city that did not want to find or pay for housing of higher standards.  It was bizarre when he even took us to the Fire God Temple which was in the same neighborhood but had been saved for spiritual reasons for now. It was surrounded by similar sights to the picture below.

One of the nicer shanties.

Bri had to use the toilet at the Fire God's Temple.  Yea, that's the toilet...the whole in the corner.  At least there was a partial wall for privacy.

     From the temple we saw another market and a cool river market where the boats just pull up and sell their goods along the river.  After stopping for Vietnamese coffee (very strong but usually mixed with sweetened and condensed milk and served on ice) which both Bri and I enjoyed all week we were taken see a mall and a more developed neighborhood.  Again Saul wanted to know my opinion on the "developed" part of town asking whether the mall looked like one in America.  I told him it looked similar from the outside but quipped that the parking lots were way too small because we all drive cars not motor bikes.

     There were other stops but the main highlights were lunch (surprised?), the Cao Dai Temple and the War Remnants Museum.  We'll talk about the War Remnants Museum and our thoughts regarding that when we share pictures from the Cu Chi Tunnels which we visited on our return to Ho Chi Minh later in the week.  Here are some pictures of the other two.

Stopped for some pho for lunch.

The alter at the Cao Dai Temple.  Each of the bright colors represents one of the major religions that were combined to form the Cao Dai religion.

     School starts tomorrow so its back to reality for us.  There will be more pictures soon.  In the meantime you're welcome to send us your favorite caption to the first photo with Matt and Saul on the motor bike.  We'll post any that make us laugh especially hard.

Matt

Chinese New Year

We have time off of school from the 20^th to the 29^th of January because of Chinese New Year.  This is a huge holiday in China and from what we hear, it is a good time to get out of the country.  So we are headed to Vietnam.  Vietnam also celebrates Chinese New Year but we hope to not be bothered by the fireworks and celebration while sitting on the beach.  Here is a link about Chinese New Year; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_New_Year

For our trip to Vietnam, we are flying into Ho Chi Mihn City to see some historical sites and then going to Nha Trang for some serious beach time.  Here is a link for Nha Trang; http://www.nhatrangtravelguide.com/

We hope to have a lot of stories and pictures to share with you when we return to Shanghai.

Bathroom Signage

     Bathrooms in Shanghai are always an adventure.  We've learned to enter cautiously, pay careful attention to signs and to not get our hopes up.  We've been in some nice bathrooms.  I'd even say some were cool based on the decor. Then we've been in some bathrooms that were unspeakable.  Today I found myself in the women's bathroom at one point for a few seconds until a realized the sign was just above the door knob.  I'm not going to get into poopy talk but Friday night I saw a sign above a urinal that I need help interpreting.  After school I went to a pool hall down the road with some other teachers and saw this in the restroom (which by the way I've found that only Americans call them restrooms).  I'll get back to you all if I can find out what advice this sign has to offer.  Take special note of the pictures at the bottom which I zoomed in on below.  It might be blurry.

Matt

Confucius asks," Can you cut in line if there is no line?"

I thought lines would be a universal thing.  At least in China they would use lines, right?  Shanghai has over 20 million people.  There are over a billion people in this country!  Lines seem obvious, to us but not them.

A few weeks ago Bri and I went to the bank.  I grabbed a number and sat in a chair to wait to for my turn.  The greeter told me they weren't busy enough to use the numbers so I just stuck it in my pocket.  About 10 minutes later they were busy enough to use numbers and the people who didn't have them were out of luck!  They had to go get a number and start waiting to be called.  They weren't given the next numbers or ushered to the front of the line where they rightfully should have been because as I mentioned earlier the line system has faults here.

Last week as I waited to order our first meal at McDonald's a lady walked right in front of me to cut in line.  I thought it was quite obvious I was in line.  There was enough space for a small woman to stand between me and the man ahead of me but I certainly hadn't left enough room for people to question why I was standing in front of a register at a restaurant staring at a menu. 

We've seen this numerous times in different situations.  Most recently we went on a river cruise to see the Bund and the Pudong skyline at night.  About 15 minutes before the gates were set to open a few people started to form what appeared to us foreigners to be a line.  There were posts with cords lined up leading to the gate which we had been instructed to enter through at the ticket counter.  It was unmistakably a place where a line should form.  When we saw a few people walk up to the "line area" we left our seats to join them.  It just so happened that Bri and I walking up caused the tipping point where everyone else involved heads to the gate.  Did the mass of people form a line? No, we formed a herd.  We looked like a bunch of cattle who were being pushed through a gate by men on horseback.  Everyone was nudging forward slightly, touching no fewer than 4 people around them at the same time.  Nobody was quite sure what came after the gate but we were all sure that we'd be better off when we passed through it.  Then a guard said something on a megaphone that I interpreted (but not really, I don't speak Mandarin) as, "You have 15 minutes to wait".

I made small talk (more accurately small gestures and facial expressions) with the lady next to me to make sure we were in the correct herd for our boat.  She pointed at my ticket and smiled confirming that we were in the correct line for our boat.  Bri and I had been separated during the chaos and I ended up in a better position.  She was wishing she had gum to share with the people around her and mouthed that to me while we stood and waited.  Fifteen minutes later the doors opened and we were off to our boat.  Exiting the boat we decided to wait for the herd to clear before making our move.

Bri likes her bubble of personal space.  She doesn't like waiting in herds. Can you count the people touching Bri?

I haven't quite figured this particular culture difference out but as I learn more I'll share.  I know it has something to do with the different views on personal space.  That is why the lady at McDonalds thought it was entirely appropriate to stand in front of me.  I left WAY too much room.  Lesson learned, the next time I'm waiting in "line" I'll be standing on the back of someone's shoes.

Matt

Spit

            One thing that I am NOT getting used to is… the sound of spit.  Yuck.  I remember my friend Jill (Eisenbart) Conrads from high school expressing her distinct hatred for the sound of ‘hocking a lugie’  Well Jill, if you ever come to China, bring earplugs.  Somewhere in their education the Chinese are taught that spitting is good for their health.  Well I know one thing, their spitting is bad for my gag reflex.  I cannot remember the last time I walked anywhere and did not hear that (ew) sound.  One night after going out, there were five of us in a cab heading home.  I was sitting right behind the cab driver.  He made that sound, rolled down the window and spit.  I literally screamed.  Seriously, it could have LANDED on me!  Matt, seeing the humor in the situation, decided to do the same out of his window.  The cabby got a good laugh out of it but I was in the back seat trying to hold down my supper.  When someone walking towards me makes that ‘sound’ I will give them my best death stare and usually they see that if they let whatever they have in their mouth out in front of me, the crazy eyes might turn into a crazy white girl.  They then spit just after passing me.  This is not a solution but it is better than me watching the entire act from beginning to end.  In the meantime I am wondering when I will hear sounds other than honking and ‘hocking’ in this city.

Bri

Let's Get Physical

This is a long overdue post.  Its been sitting in the draft box for awhile without being written but it is still something that deserves to be shared because it was one of my most memorable experiences.  I'm not a person that lives with a lot of regret, but one thing I'll always regret is not getting pictures of this process.  I guess I could relive it but I don't think that will be necessary, I'll just deal with the remorse.

On our second day of orientation we had a health check needed to acquire a work visa.  Bri started squirming immediately when she heard the list of checkpoints during the physical would include a blood draw.  I'd had a physical during the summer so I was thinking it would be no big deal.

About 15 new teachers headed over to the clinic where these physicals would occur that morning.  We signed some paperwork and were herded into a waiting room that was completely full.  Thankfully we had a school secretary leading us.  She is native Chinese and would fill out parts of the paperwork we couldn't, tell teachers when and where they were supposed to go, and take care of the payments.  Sitting there we waited for our number to be called by an automated system.  "Number 87, go to room A15"  You have to imagine that being loud and in Chinese.  We knew what they were saying only because it scrolled across a digital board in Chinese and then in English.  So you sit and wait anticipating anxiously what your going to experience hoping you can live up to the Chinese standard of their foreigners and if you're afraid of needles (Bri) you just sit and wait anticipating anxiously.

They finally call your name.  I sat down with one of the two ladies in this particular room.  One looks more like a drill sargent than a nurse and the other looks like it is her first day on the job.  After a few general questions your papers are stamped and you're moving on to the real deal.  You're given a locker and a robe.  Take off your shoes put on some paper booties, take off your shirt and put on your robe.  Pants are optional but recommended this is a co-ed process.  Next you enter a long hall and this is where the pictures are needed.  There are benches along the wall of the hall and they're full of people making their way through the same ordeal.  Everyone has the robe on but the humorous thing is all the robes are the same size.  Bri's fit her well so you can imagine what I looked like in my robe.  I could tie it but still had about 6 inches of bare chest showing and the sleeves were short and tight.  It was a sight to see.

Luckily Bri and I went in at about the same time.  She was able to give her blood sample first thing which allowed her to relax and "enjoy" the rest of the exams.  This leads us to the rest of the exams.  As you head out of the blood drawing room a nurse looks at your sheet to see what has been stamped.  Then she points toward another room along the hall and yells in Chinese and that is where you are supposed to go next.  If there is a line, sit on the bench and wait your turn.  If there is no line, head on in to the room.  This is a really good bonding experience for new coworkers.  It was kind of like listening to a good comedian.  You don't know what is coming next but your pretty sure your going to laugh about it. 

There were EKGs, chest x-rays, ultrasound of your abdomen, vision including a color blindness test, ENT check, pulse, blood pressure and general reflex checks.  I think the experience was bearable for most, and I know I had fun.  Of course, you have to enjoy being yelled at in a foreign language.  Roll over!  Turn to your left!  Lift your arms up!  All in gibberish.  I didn't know what any of their yelling meant until they showed me or poked me. 

The memory I'll never forget is waiting for my ultrasound.  I was in the same room as a man I didn't know who was getting his ultrasound.  He was behind a small curtain but I could see the nurse on his left and the nurse on his right so I had a pretty good idea of what was happening.  The two nurses were flipping out because they couldn't find his gallbladder.  They kept pointing at the screen and switching who had the probe.  The man was turned and flipped and poked and prodded but they couldn't find it.  Sensing there was an issue he said that he'd had his gallbladder removed (in English) but they didn't stop.  Then one of the nurses noticed a small scar and they started poking that and talking to him in Chinese, like that is his multilingual switch and now he speaks Mandarin or Shanghainese or whatever they were speaking.  He reiterated, "Yes, I know.  It was removed about 30 years ago."  They didn't understand him and yelled at each other some more before giving his robe back and sending him on his way.  (I should clarify that when I say yelling in this post it was my perspective at the time of the physical.  Now I know that when Chinese people talk to each other it quite often sounds like loud arguing when its just a conversation.  That's another blog post though)  When the man walked by I told him I was sorry about his gallbladder and we laughed a little under our breathes.  It helps to have a sense of humor about that sort of thing.

The real excitement of the health exam comes a few weeks later when you get your report.  It's about 7 pages and looks really official.  Their general comments were I have a slightly fatty liver and my heart has a sinus arrhythmia.  The first one wasn't a surprise.  Veteran teachers say that 99% of foreigners are diagnosed with fatty livers.  The second is supposed to be normal/common for people my age.  I guess any nurses or murses reading this can advise me otherwise if need be.  There were also some novel and creative suggestions for me to consider.  Take proper exercises and improve dietary habits.  Outstanding!  As for Bri, I'm not at liberty to share her report other than her liver is fat and she's not pregnant (Sorry Izzy).  Luckily, we're healthy enough to stay.

Social Status

            In Shanghai we are extremely privileged to live the life that we do.  When I say that I don’t mean to sound boastful, I'll to give a clearer picture.  It is easy to see what the draw is for many Western people that choose to relocate their entire families to China or other Asian countries. 

In the United States being a teacher is a double-edged sword.  We get time off in the summers and at holidays to travel at our leisure but with the sub par income we get, it is difficult to do much more than road trips and camping.  You would never see a teacher with a driver and a nanny in the states.  Teachers are typically average Americans with family priorities and that is very admirable. 

Moving to Shanghai also meant a move up the social ladder.  Here, we are catered to in countless ways.  There is a large Western expat community in Shanghai and they are not moving here to do grunge work.  They (we) have drivers and housekeepers, security guards, masseuses etc.  We also moved here knowing little to no Mandarin.  When we expat call places they give an English option or answer the phone saying Hello rather than Wei.  We have very little difficulty getting what we need despite our language barrier and different cultures.  I have been thinking lately about how there is very little resentment towards us.  We have been met with nothing but accommodating, helpful locals.

 My question is; if the situation was reversed and there were swarms of foreigners moving to the United States and those foreigners made far more money than the average American, would they be welcomed or hated?  History does not side well on assuming that Americans would be as welcoming and accommodating as the Chinese.  I am afraid that our American egos are too large to have the roles reversed.  Thoughts?

Bri

Traffic in Shanghai

Since arriving in Shanghai we're constantly awed by the traffic.  As Bri explained in a previous post, it is just so different.  I think that the reason they get so close to you is because the chinese culture lack personal space entirely.  You see this in lines, on the subway and standing in crowds.  Its nothing to have two or three strangers brushing, bumping, infringing my "bubble" of personal space.  I can actually remember being taught in elementary school that everyone has their own space and that you need to let them have their space and not invade their space, blah, blah, blah.  Oh yeah, this is China.  No more bubble.

Bri's post included a lot of feelings from our first month of so here.  Now she's getting acclimated.  The picture above is her hailing a cab outside our apartment.  She wasn't having luck getting a cab going west so she decided to stand in the middle of the road and try hailing a cab going either way.

What we figured out quite early is that if you just keep walking, don't stop, don't change speeds, just keep your path, everything will avoid you.  It's really kind of cool.  I haven't tried it but I'm pretty confident I could walk across four lanes of busy traffic and ignoring a few (hundred) horns cause little to no disruption in the flow of things.  Things would keep going.  They'd wonder what the laowei was doing but they'd all perform a synchronized swerve and continue unfazed.

This brings us to some noteworthy cultural differences.  The driving culture in the US whether your honest enough to admit it or not is that we follow the traffic rules (at least the important ones).  In our culture if everyone follows the rules then nobody gets hurt.  Think about it.  You are sitting at an intersection and the light turns green...do you look both ways before you cross?  I doubt it.  (This post will be completely lost on our Eastern Colorado following who are trying to remember the last time they saw a light at an intersection)  The point I'm trying to make is that at home people pay less attention to what everyone around them is doing on the road.  They worry about staying in their lane, about following the rules that apply to them and they hope everyone else is doing the same.  If we all do it together, nobody gets hurt.

Shanghai driving is the yang to the previously described ying.  There are traffic rules here, its just nobody follows them.  There are bike and scooter lanes, cars, vans, city busses and construction vehicles moving around at all times and nobody follows rules.  (The only rule that is consistently followed is stop on red.  This is due to a lot of traffic cameras.) Cabbies will make a u-turn anywhere, it doesn't matter if it is a busy street.  Cars will pull into the wrong lane if they can pass someone who is traveling to slow ahead of them.  Nobody lets anybody into their lane, instead you just have a game of chicken.  Who can get their bumper further ahead without hitting another car in the process.  The funny thing is that it seems to work.  We've seen one accident since we've been here between two scooters and nothing between larger vehicles.  I'm sure they happen but in this system everyone pays complete attention to what is going on around them (can you believe it?) and despite the craziness that goes on everyone arrives safely.

A case to make my point.  The other morning we were riding along in an automobile (this song popped into my head while I was writing this, now I hope its stuck in your head for awhile) when a bus coming out of a stop immediately pulled across two lanes into our lane.  My initial response would have been to brake and then call the bus driver a jackass while I check my blindspot and merge over. I'd probably also check his license plate to see what state he's from, I know you guys do that too.  Our cab driver moved over a lane and never let off the accelerator, he already knew nobody was beside us and furthermore was expecting the jackass driving the bus to do something like that.  In fact, here he is not even a jackass, the bus driver is just a guy in a bigger vehicle going where he needs to go, so pay attention and get out the way bitch get out the way.  (That last line is a reference to a song for some of the younger generations.  If it confuses or offends you it should read, so pay attention and get out of his way, please make any alterations necessary, this blog is try to reach a diverse audience)

Walking Rage

I have heard of road rage and I thought that I could empathize with the anger that people feel when a driver does something rude on the road.  Now I feel like saying to all commuters of the United States “you have no idea”.

I have not driven anywhere since we have been here.  We take cabs, the city bus, the subway, but mostly we walk.  Walking seems safe right?  Wrong.  I feel as though I need a helmet when venturing out.

I like to think of myself as a rule follower.  I don’t usually like to break rules and I find great importance in them in day to day life.  Here nobody follows traffic rules.  For instance, the light with the green man indicating that it is okay for me to walk now is not valid.  What the green man means is ‘it is okay now for you to watch out for bicyclists and scooters coming at you from all directions, best of luck crossing’  A red light for drivers means ‘You may now cross the intersection but you must honk while going through.’

They get close to me, they honk at me, they interrupt my walking pattern.

On a simple walk to the ATM I was within inches of getting hit by a van and by a scooter.  Naturally I am thinking  I am in a different country I need to get used to this…… NOT!  I am thinking that I want to do terrible things to them in their sleep, I want to shout cuss words at them, I want to kick them so they fall off of their scooters, I want to turn them in so that they spend years in a Chinese Prison. I actually said aloud to Matt one day “I want to punch their mom in the face.” This, I know is not healthy and I am trying to work through it.

Matt has found an interesting solution to his irritation.  He just goes.  He has faith that the buses, cars, scooters, and bikes will all miraculously stop for him to go by.  The thing is….. it works.  Matt does not even look at the cars directly.  He looks like a blind man unaware of the chaos surrounding him.  I, jogging behind him look like a student playing tag on the playground.  I believe that the reason Matt can do this is because the crazies see that he would leave a sizable dent in their vehicle and they would rather not have that.

And I will have the pizza

     It seems that I have eaten more pizza here than any other time in my life.  While I love trying the new cuisine here, I sometimes  crave something familiar.  My first choice would be a nice cheeseburger with bacon and some French fries, my next choice would be a hotdog with sauerkraut and mustard.  The problem is I come from a family that raises their own beef.  I could be considered by my new friends to be a ‘beef snob’  I just know what good beef is supposed to taste like.  I'll be honest, the beef situation here still scares me a bit.  As for hotdogs, I cannot read the label to know even what animal it comes from and they are remarkably pale here.  Not appetizing.

     It is weird how the most familiar things from home are the things that I am the most scared to try here.  I think it is because I have an expectation of what it should taste like and any deviation from that is not okay.  Now the local cuisine I am all for trying, for all I know that is what the seafood dumpling is supposed to taste like every time.  My solution when I need something familiar is to get the pizza.  The pizza here has been quite satisfactory.  Taste like something that I would find in the states.  They even have Papa Johns! Some days a good slice of pizza is all I need to feel a bit closer to home.