Note of Thanks

I am feeling so many things right now. Many things all at once… pure joy, fear, sad, overwhelmed, denial, hopeful, excited, and distraught.  Preparing to leave is in a word, overwhelming.  First is our stuff.  We have to condense our stuff to 5 suitcases.  Which means that we are selling and giving away 3 years of our lives piece by piece. There is no room for sentimental attachment because there is literally no room. 

Other than the stuff, the people must be gone through.  Goodbyes… Oh the goodbyes. 

It is difficult to explain the bond that has been created with the people that we live and work with here.  The closest thing I can compare it to is college.  We have survived China with these beautiful individuals, traveled to foreign lands, shared weekly dinners, professional workshops, struggled through culture shock, survived several bouts of food poisoning, taught together, laughed together and in a few cases, cried.  We have far more commonalities with these individuals than differences.  They come from the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and other countries.  We share a spirit for community and a love of travel.  Our backgrounds couldn’t be more different but somehow we have bonded over our careers in teaching and being in the same place at the same time.  I will deeply miss many of these people but hold out hope for seeing them again soon, perhaps in a new country. 

I fully realize that being overseas meant that we had to sacrifice relationships at home.  Missing my niece Isabel’s first birthday party is a memory that stings.  Knowing that our physical presence would be missed, Matt and I did the best we could to keep in touch.  We spent nearly every Saturday and often Sunday mornings Facetiming family.  Unlike many of our international friends we also journeyed home for every Christmas and as many weeks in the summer as possible.  We averaged 10 weeks in the states a year and that is pretty damned good if you ask me. 

When we arrived we had a combined student loan debt of nearly $100,000.  We were both a bit overwhelmed by this number. We decided to focus hard on chipping away at it, and as of January this year the remaining balance was $0.  What a huge weight lifted!  If we would have not come overseas we would barely have dented this amount. 

The travel opportunities that we have been blessed to experience have been life changing.  We were able to experience so many new cultures we went places that I wouldn’t have been able to find on a map before coming here. 

So what I am trying to get at is that I am so thankful.  I am overflowing with thankfulness. This experience has been wonderful, heartbreaking, joyous, exciting, difficult, brilliant, and eye opening.  I have learned more about myself, my marriage, my country, my values, and my world than I ever thought possible.  I am truly blessed by this experience and I am bubbling over with gratitude.  I am changed on the most fundamental level and I am so so thankful.

China, you know me so well...

Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars Concert!

I have made it to a few concerts since we have been here and they have all been fun.  Matt not being a fanatic of music in general, happily has a guys night while I go out with the ladies.  This time one of Matt’s student’s parents offered us floor tickets to Bruno Mars.  The texting conversation went something like this;

Matt:  They offered us tickets.  I suppose you want to go?

Bri:  Hell YES!

Matt:  What am I supposed to do?

Bri:  Shake your hips, fist pump, sing along….?

Matt:  We will go out to dinner first.

We ended up having a fantastic time.  We were 13 rows back out of an entire stadium. 

Matt's Granny passed away a couple months ago and I have written and rewritten a blog tribute for her.  Nothing seems to come close to doing justice to the lady that she was and the impact that she had on Matt and I.  With that in mind here goes...

 One of the worst things about living overseas is thinking about what we would do if we lost someone close to us at home.  Unfortunately we had to figure that out a few months ago.  Matt’s dear Granny died.  We got the call in the middle of the night and grief and the distance blanketed us for several days.  Matt decided not to go home as Granny had so keenly insisted on him not doing so if something happened to her or Grandpa Don. 

Granny (Frances Snodgrass) was a very special sort of lady.  When Matt was introducing me for the first time to his family he made it clear to me that it was Granny that could make or break the deal.  If she said that she didn’t like me, the gig was up.  Luckily she loved me and so Matt and I were able to continue our romance. 

Granny worked as a lobbyist for the Kansas Legislature until she retired. This resulted in her always being informed in political current events and she expected those around her to be educated on things that matter as well.  She would ask questions like ‘what are your thoughts on the new supreme court justice’ and I was always thanking my lucky stars that my mom is a news junkie and I was able to give a semi-educated response.

The way Granny listened to answers and opinions was beyond respectable.  She cared what we thought and why.  She would take quick notes as we spoke to ask further questions.  Considering the evidence and opinions of those that mattered to her she would then form her own opinion and she certainly wasn’t afraid to share it.   Her politics always seemed to lean left of center, which aligned nicely with mine.  Granny’s progressive view on the world was beyond her generation and it warmed my heart.  When she wanted to make a point extra clear to ensure I was listening carefully, she would gently take my hand in hers and look me in the eye as she told me where a certain Politian could shove it.  She was a walking contradiction of sweet and sass. 

She made a mean friend chicken dinner.  Although she couldn’t make it up and down the stairs to their basement anymore, she kept a sharp mental inventory of her pantry that Grandpa Don was charged with running.  She and I both loved Downton Abbey and The Good Wife.  She loved hearing about our adventures from abroad. 

Granny was a type of tough-old-bird that only seems common with women of her generation.  She lost a son too soon and that grief made her love those around her deeper.   Matt was exceptionally close to Granny.  I am forever thankful for her for the influence that she had on Matt.  There are so many parts of her that I see in Matt daily.  Their commonalities are uncanny; Their sharp intelligence, their constant search for truth, their love of cooking for others, their careful family prioritization, their desire to root for the underdog, their thoughtfulness, their true love of their spouses, and their desire to learn. 

Granny will be missed so dearly and as Matt put it; It just seems like the 30 years he had with her weren’t quite enough.  And as Winnie the Pooh says ‘How lucky am I to have had something that makes saying goodbye so hard’ 

We have been so busy lately with all of the end of the year business.  This time of year in Shanghai is absolutely beautiful.  It is this time of year that I fall back in love with this city.  If we had to decide whether we are coming back again for another year in May I don't think anyone would leave. My whole goal in these remaining weeks is to live it up!  Go to our favorite restaurants one final time, spend time with our great friends, get last minute China shopping in, and enjoy the lifestyle that we have come to enjoy :)

We are moving home to Colorado!  It is bittersweet to be moving back and we feel that it is the right thing for us right now.  We are leaving the possibility to move abroad again open for the next year or two years or five or 25…. Living abroad has been an INCREDIBLE time in our lives and one that has shaped who we are today for the better.  Most of our friends here are off to new countries next year, which admittedly has me a bit jealous.  I am trying to focus on the happiness that lies in Colorado so here are my top 10 things that I am looking forward to;

10.  Watching the evening news.

9.  Easy communication at all venues.

8.  Matt having a grill again.

7.  Cheap wine

6.  Grandparents cousins and friends getting to watch Benton grow.

5.  Shopping at Target.

4.  Unpacking our wedding presents.

3.  Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Easter, and Memorial Day food.

2.  Having friends and family visit our new home.

1. Not having to say goodbye in August.

Going Back to Work

 I go back to work after my maternity leave on February 12^th.  I have had 16 total weeks including Christmas break and Chinese New Year.  It has been a real blessing to have this much time at home.  It was funny when talking to international teachers about maternity leave because I always knew if I was talking to an American or a Canadian.  When talking to an American and I said 16 weeks they said things like ‘that is awesome!’ When talking to a Canadian they said ‘that’s it?  That is too bad.’ It is all about perspective.  While I am not exactly thrilled about going back I am looking forward to adult interaction.  I couldn’t feel better about leaving him with Xiao Ma.  She will bring him to me for a feeding and I will be able to come home for lunch for another one.  I can be home for the day at 3:30.  The transition could be a lot worse.